The March Of The Penguins

Waistbands should really NOT be worn below your butt. Then they are no longer waistbands, are they?

We were having this discussion today over lunch with the office team. One of my bosses has a son that plays soccer. Apparently there is another boy on the team who is constantly sporting the current *in* look of placing his waistband just under his butt. Ok, first of all, that would make running in them rather difficult. And correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there a lot of running in soccer? Second, that just looks stupid.

We've been rather fortunate that both Jock and Bug don't particularly like that look. That's not to say that they are into the high-waisted look either. No, my children are not future scientists in training. They prefer to sit their pants just on their hips. Bug happens to like running fast, and hates falling on his face. That's a combination guaranteed to keep his pants up. And Jock.... he's a bright boy. He knows that the girls who walk behind him in the halls need to have something to focus on. (And while as his mother, that thought makes me cringe.... I'm still glad it keeps his pants up!) So, while they might show the top inch or so of their boxers, they don't show their entire hind end. A fact that makes my heart grateful. And they wear a belt to keep them FROM GOING ANY LOWER. I find it incredibly amusing to note the boys who wear the pants below their butts -- have a belt on. What? You don't want them to maybe slip to your knees?

And these same boys pay no attention to the fact that not only do we NOT want to see if they wear boxers or briefs, we don't want to be able to tell how threadbare they might be getting, or if you haven't asked your mom to do the laundry lately, or if Grandma thought getting you a pair of boxers with little bunnies on them for Easter would be a good idea. You know, since no one was going to see them.

But now it looks like boys aren't content to keep their style out of the locker rooms anymore. Guess this soccer playing kid is starting a new trend?

Can you imagine if more athletes decided that this look worked with their uniforms? Its bad enough that soccer players and basketball players have the type of shorts with elastic waistbands, that lend themselves easily to this style. Picture a football player wearing his pants like this. That tailbone pad would be somewhat useless at that point. The hip pads would become thigh pads, the thigh pads would become knee pads, and the knee pads would become shin pads. Now try to creatively imagine the new safety equipment that would have to be designed to protect their midsections.

Golfers? Those pants are hideous enough. Lets at least leave them where they belong.

Baseball? The base lines would have to be shortened up quite a bit to allow for the extra running time. Or everyone would have to develop into a home-run power hitter. And there would be no more leading off the bases.

Hockey? We'd have to play it on sleds, since there would be no way skates could be maneuvered.

What about swimmers? Hehehe.... at that point every school would have to change the swim team to the skinny dippin' team! Think of the awards that could be designed for that sport!

Of course, with boys these days turning into penguins, maybe swimming isn't going to be in much danger anyway.