~~ When you find yourself spending several hours on a baseball field, whether by design or not..... three inch high-heeled (fantabulous!) hooker boots are not the footwear you should have on.
~~If you are going to limit yourself to a handful of cabbage leaves for dinner, an adult beverage may not be the wisest course if you are looking to avoid numbness in your fingers and lips.
~~If you're going to decide to push your vehicle to the very last drop of the very last gallon, you might want to think about NOT driving out to the middle of nowhere.
~~Remember when speaking to a dugout full of 13-15 year old boys that the words "hush" and "gentlemen" will set off a round of laughter almost as loud as what a bodily air emission would receive.
~~A granola bar, no matter how yummy or packed with chocolate chips it may be, will not ever be sufficient to sustain you from 8:30 AM until you are able to munch on some cabbage leaves roughly 14 hours later.
~~Remember that it really is a GOOD thing for those 13-15 year old boys to be addressing you as "Ma'am". Its a sign of respect, not a sign that you're actually looking your age.
~~However, if you simply can not put it in that perspective, realize that it is perfectly ok for you to go home, get the family all settled in bed, sit in front of your computer in your pj's, and have that adult beverage.
Screw the cabbage leaves. That numbness is actually funny to type with!