Monday, January 12, 2009

I've Seen Stranger Things Posted on Craigslist

As many of you know (well, maybe "many" is more of a hopeful term, meant to imply that more than three people read this blog), Coach recently joined the ranks of the unemployed. So we've been trying to think of ways to make some extra money. Or if not extra money, at least enough to pay the internet bill so I can keep blogging.

So here are my ideas. Tell me what you think.

~ Sell the boys. See, this has a dual benefit to me. It would both lower my grocery bill, and put money in my pocket. The downside, though, is that I would lose my little comic relief sidekicks. And monkey hugs. And girlfriends, and driving lessons, and... wait. I'm talking myself back into it.

~ Sell Coach. Again, double benefits here. I would get the bed to myself, eliminating the perma-furnace I sleep with every night. Which? Truly is not pleasant or comfortable in the middle of summers here. The flip side? The man really does know how to cook and clean spectacularly.

~ Sell tattooed ad space on my forehead. Sadly, though, for many reasons this won't work for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that my awesome new hair now covers my obscures parts of my forehead.

~ Rent out game time on the XBox. My worry here, though, is that this would cause my crew to spend more time on those consoles, not less.

~ Take in laundry for other people. I'm not really sure how that would work, though. For one, my own laundry isn't terribly disciplined about washing itself yet. Two, I strongly suspect it would all get mixed in together. And can you just imagine how Coach would look if he ended up with someone else's pajama pants, and that someone else happened to only be 5'5", as opposed to his 6'1"?

~ Mow lawns. On the other hand, all those rocks wouldn't be good for the lawnmower blades. Desert landscaping just doesn't lend itself to a lot of mowing.


I'm out of ideas. I'm just going to have to let Coach go back to work. I've been fighting this booming economy to keep him here, with potential employers calling the house non-stop. They're clever, though, those potential employers. They disguise themselves as creditors in an effort to help me resist answering the phone. As successful as they've been though, the time has come to let him go back into the work force.

Because I really don't think I can give up monkey hugs.


Flea said...

So has he found a job? Because you could always take in other people's ironing. That sounds like such fun! ;)

Flea said...

The tattooing on your forehead is a really bad idea. Maybe your arm, and just go sleeveless.

Hey, have you looked into the car wraps - selling advertising space on your vehicle?

T said...

I'm thinking that your hairdresser at least owes you some advertising fees!!!

Best of luck - I can't quite bring myself to sell my plasma... yet.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

What about selling ad space on your butt cheeks and then wearing assless chaps all day? You DO say it's hot where you live so it would really help you out in multiple ways!!

Glad I can help!


raino said...

all the best on the job front for coach. don't sell the boys, you'd miss the bedtime routine, at least once in a while. if you do decide to sell the coach, i would take him provided he cooks and cleans here. and until he gets here, i'm sending my laundry your way.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I'd keep the boys. They are all your blog fodder. You could always do like that family on Ebay: let some rich person without family buy you as kin - like that family that legally changed their last name to be the rich guy's relatives.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I'd pay you to do my laundry.

That would rule!

I am Boymom said...

Cracking up at Hallie's idea with the chaps! My man has been out of work for awhile, he finally gave up and started a pool route, which is not a high dollar gig, but at least we can pay our utility bills. I am looking myself and not having much success. Hang in there and know that you aren't alone! Awesome that Coach jumped in to help clean...NEVER happens in my house! Ever.