Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Sleepover Bra

If you are the mother to a male child, and if you are a mother who has fought a valiant battle with gravity only to realize that you are losing much faster than you dreamed you would, you absolutely understand the need for the sleepover bra. If, on the other hand, you only have daughters; or have been blessed with eternal perkiness and a bosom that does not remark to anyone who would care to listen anytime there is a chilly breeze passing through (or let's face it, just a stupid brush of a stupid t-shirt these days *sigh*), then you may not understand what, exactly, a sleepover bra is. Let me explain.

The sleepover bra is that one bra you keep in the drawer, with the elastic that maybe has stretched just a bit too much for this particular bra to be very useful in everyday life. That bra that is still supportive enough to give everyone at least a minor impression of your more youthful years, but yet relaxed enough to be comfortable to sleep in. It may or may not have underwires, but if it does, they have gone through enough washings to have lost just enough rigidity to not dig into your armpits when you lay down. This bra still conceals your "temperature detectors", but doesn't restrict your airflow by being too tight. In short, this bra is actually comfortable. Which is why you can't wear it to work anymore, but can wear it to bed if need be.

And when you have older sons, and said sons have friends that sleep over at your house; and if you have found yourself on the losing end of the battle with gravity and always announcing a drop in temperature..... well, you need a sleepover bra. (Always assuming, of course, that you really have no desire to embarrass your son; or that you don't have some really wrong fixation with inappropriate attention. If you fall into either of those categories, then a sleepover bra will not help you. Also? We all might be more comfortable if you didn't continue to read the blog of a mom with a teenage son, with said mom absolutely feeling the need to shield her son from older women seeking inappropriate attention from him. Thanks so much!)

I have a sleepover bra. And I find myself in the somewhat strange position of being thankful I actually need one. You see, needing a sleepover bra means that my boys have friends that they actually want to invite over. And that these friends are actually accepting those invitations. By wearing this sleepover bra, I am acknowledging that my boys are not ashamed of our house, the state of cleanliness it may or may not be in at any given time, or of Coach and myself. It also means that their friends like being here.

Needing this sleepover bra means I am moving ever closer to accomplishing the goal I set for myself before Jock graduated from high school. Which is a very good thing.

Also? I just think it's funny that I managed to write an entire post about a bra. Apparently, the creative center of my brain has not yet recognized that it just turned 36 last week, and therefore should stop being amused at certain things. I'm ok with that.


Flea said...

YOU ARE SO YOUNG!!!! There. I feel better.

I don't have a sleepover bra. I only wear underwire and can't imagine sleeping in one. Instead, I have a robe. I love my robe. A big fluffy white one for winter, and a light satin one for warm seasons. Robes are good. They hide my ratty, old nighties, too. :)

Sunrunner said...

I only wear underwire too, so I have sports bras for around the house. We haven't been brave enough to have any sleepovers yet. That would have been kind of difficult to arrange with me working nights and hubby working days!

Karen said...

The older I get, the worse things are. And talking about more than just the sag. Those built in thermometers are now requiring a well padded version for summer tees. I will miss my bulky sweatshirts allowing me to wear my sleepover bra underneath them all winter.

Crazymamaof6 said...

excellent post and very informative. these are things i will undoubtably need to know.

The Mom said...

Saw your tagline on BlogHer & had to come check it out. Glad I did! Thanks for the good laugh. I'm not quite to this point, but I will definitely keep this in mind in the years to come!