Last week, I was fortunate enough to be able to go with Bug's class on a field trip. He's always been a pretty demonstrative kid, and today wasn't any different even though I worried it might be, with all of his friends as witnesses. When his class arrived at the facility (the parent volunteers had gotten there early for training), he walked right up and gave me a big hug. And then he spent both of his breaks hanging out with me instead of wandering with his friends. Without going into a lot of details about the trip itself (which was unbelievably cool, and I will definitely have to share with you all sometime soon just what we did), I will give you a peek at a conversation Bug and I had that night when I was tucking him into bed.
Hey, dude, thanks for letting me tag along today on the field trip.
Thanks for coming, Mom.
It was a lot of fun for me! Did you have a good time? What was your favorite part.....when you were the CFO and got to create everyone's paychecks?
Nope. My favorite part was having you there! It was the Best.Day.EVER!
Yes, yes it was. Totally made getting up at 5:30 that morning worth every second of lost sleep.
Spring football training has started for Jock. When I picked him up tonight from practice, he hopped in the car and asked if I wanted to go to one of my favorite semi-fast food places, just the two of us. His treat. Told me I could consider it a belated Mother's Day gift, if I wanted to.
I'm no fool. Dinner was fantastic!
Along the way, he just chattered on; telling me about practice, things the coaches said, things he did well. It has occurred to me more than once in the last few months that whenever he finally does get around to getting his permit, the countdown will have truly begun to his being on his own. For every minute of convenience I gain by not needing to break into whatever it is I'm doing to go and pick him up from practice, I lose an unguarded conversation with him that keeps me involved in his life. For every place he can drive himself, I lose another moment of being needed. For every grown up thing he can do, I lose a little more of my baby.
If he were to get his permit tomorrow, state law requires 6 months with it and so many hours of instruction before he can get his actual license. Of course, he hasn't even finished the study manual so that he can go take the test to get his permit. I've got some time to get used to the idea of his growing more independent. And time to figure out how to make the daily life report to me become mandatory.
I'm just not ready to give that up.