Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I'm Feeling A Bit Profound This Week

How do you define the value of a volunteer? Would it be based on the amount of time they donate? Maybe based on how successful their particular volunteer efforts are? Would you base it on how many people like this volunteer? Or how many like the style of this volunteer? Or even if you, yourself, like this volunteer?

Or, and I know this is really thinking outside of the box here, but maybe the value of a volunteer could be defined simply by the fact that they are volunteering at all, in an era and economy when everyone expects to be paid for any and all efforts they expend?

Conversely, if you are the volunteer in question, how do you define your own value? Do you get so caught up in the volunteer work that you do that you begin to only see yourself as valuable solely because of that volunteerism?

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Everyone has something that they're insecure about. Even if you're honest with no one but yourself, you'll agree. Wanna know what my biggest insecurity is?

I've been married for 17 years. For most of that time, I can honestly say that I don't doubt that Coach and I love each other, and are madly and wildly committed to one another. With that being said, we were very young when we got married. Being very young when you get married, especially if you and your spouse have chosen to enter into a monogamous marriage, means that you have voluntarily taken yourself out of the buffet line. There are no more options when it comes to who you spend your nights with, and since you're very young you most likely haven't yet had a chance to make as many trips as you might have liked back to that buffet line to try something new.

My insecurity? My freeze all common sense portions of my brain fear? Is that Coach will see someone who triggers that sense of Hmmm.... I might still be hungry; a little dessert won't hurt.

This insecurity? Causes me to completely lose all ability to behave rationally; and instead induces episodes of extreme OhMyGodWhoIsThisWomanWhoHasTakenOverMyMouth&WhatTheHeckIsSheSayingMakeHerShutUP!

Those episodes? Are not pretty, and I'm never very proud of myself after the fact. So it's a very good thing that Coach is madly and wildly committed to me. Doesn't hurt that he loves me a little bit, either.

3 comments:

Flea said...

I hear you. We weren't so young, but Hunny was my first and only, and vice versa. There are days ...

Rockin Austin said...

'OhMyGodWhoIsThisWomanWhoHasTakenOverMyMouth&WhatTheHeckIsSheSayingMakeHerShutUP!'

Yeah, that woman gets around...if you know what I mean. ;)

Cecily R said...

Jon and I were young too...and I wonder a little. But honestly, that man is so centered on home that I don't wonder very long or very often. My insecurity is just about both of us getting to comfortable and not working at marriage like we should. Somedays are better than others.