Ya'll know I've got a couple of kids, right? So it shouldn't really surprise you to find out that I also have a couple of ovaries. For the last eight years, it's been just the ovaries, thank the Good Lord, but yes, they are still floating around in there.
Did you read that? Those ovaries? Are FLOATING AROUND in there. Did you realize that those suckers aren't attached to A. Single. Thing?? Not one snap or button, zipper or even a paperclip in there making sure they stay put.
Do you also realize that this means your ovaries are free to take field trips whenever they feel like it? You know that uncomfortable-ness you thought was indigestion the other night? It was probably your ovaries partying and pole-dancing with your esophagus. That day you had to go to the bathroom at least 4,569,371 times? That was the day your ovaries had their step-aerobics class using your bladder as the step. That tightness in your chest you get sometimes when you've been too active? Its not your lungs refusing to work correctly; it's your lungs continuing to party on with your ovaries long after your brain has kicked 'em out of the club after last call.
One of the first questions I asked my doctor after my hysterectomy many years ago was What happens to my ovaries? The expression on my face when she explained that they just sort of ... float... there probably provided a good laugh or three at the next medical conference.
And I'm pretty positive that my reaction to what happens to the actual eggs after ovulation since they now have nowhere to go? Will be one of the favorite opening anecdotes in medical school for years to come.
7 comments:
Well now me and the SFC have some more jokes to share about hers! Maybe that is what causes all the noise in her abdomen area at night!
You sound like our friend, um, we'll call him Tim. He had a vas, and was sure that he'd die someday from a weird and unexplained cancerous-like overdose from his sperm that had nowhere to go.
Your comments got spammed. Hilarious post! I'm thinking my ovaries must be bouncing around my body like super balls right now, messing up my wiring. That's the only excuse I can come up with for my moodiness and general lack of intelligence or control lately!
Bouncing ovaries...the imagery (I'm sick. I can't spell. I've tried that word three different ways and it still doesn't look right) here is AWESOME!
Seriously? Spam for an ovary post? LOL! So how DID you respond to the the egg response?
Hee hee, yes they are already floating you realize, even before the hysterectomy. When you think about it, that explains a lot of things. Actually, it's a miracle there aren't a whole lot more ectopic pregnancies...
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