Monday, April 19, 2010

Boobs---An Easy Laugh at Your Mother's Expense

When you have a teenager, there are certain awkward moments and certain conversations you expect to have. You expect to field questions about the opposite sex, and you expect to witness curiosity about the various different and same-yet-different body parts on the opposite sex. What you don't expect is to put yourself into that situation.

The parent in me has never been much of a fan of Skinemax Cinemax (despite the fact that the wild, wanton married woman in me thinks the occasional nekkid body might be fun to stumble across late at night after the kids are fast asleep--or better yet, away at a friend's house--and I'm cuddled on the sofa with with the man who owns my favorite nekkid body), and that has only gotten more pronounced the older the boys have gotten. I didn't worry too much when they were little; after all, they were in bed before me. But now that I have a Teenager, one who is frequently up later than I am....well, there is much more to be worried about.

The boys and I sat down the other night to watch a movie we had recorded to watch together. But no sooner had I pressed the "play" button...... boobs were flashing themselves on my television screen. Boobs, butts and other various (obviously airbrushed and cinematically altered) body parts.  After a noise that I'm fairly certain sounded like something out of a horror movie came screeching out of my mouth, I began frantically trying to get those images OFF. MY. SCREEN before they could become permanently etched on Bug's brain.  Nothing worked. Apparently all I was capable of doing was pausing the stupid thing. So I repeatedly told Bug to keep his eyes closed, and told the hilariously laughing Teenager to shut up and help me. Finally, FINALLY, everyone's boobs were removed from my screen.

I'm surprised that Jock didn't wet himself, he was laughing at me so hard.  Stupid teenage humor.

They're just boobs, Mom.
Dude, unless they're your own boobs, you don't need to be looking at them yet.   Which, of course, set Bug to laughing from the other room.

This might be one of those moments that I end up wishing on them when they have children. 

9 comments:

Flea said...

Jock has boobs?

LOL! My kids are fairly self-policing. Oatmeal Head gets really pissed if they're watching something and nudity happens. He gets even angrier if the person with the remote doesn't turn it off. He doesn't have boobs. Maybe he's jealous.

You're not jealous, are you? :)

Karen said...

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious! I love that you paused it while trying to get it off. That would totally be me - the inept technological one. And Jock! Ha! Love that boy.

Abbey said...

"Finally, FINALLY, everyone's boobs were removed from my screen."

This got me laughing my ass off. Thank you for giving my day a great, laughing start. :)

T said...

Note to self: Always ALWAYS preview the movie before showing it to the kids... even, maybe ESPECIALLY, when you've recorded it off of TV

5 Kids With Disabilities said...

That is so funny!!!!! I can just picture them paused on the screen...just sitting there for all to stare at!!!
Lindsey Petersen

Nova Kristin said...

Oh my good golly lady, you do make me laugh

Rockin Austin said...

Hehehehe....

I Am Boymom said...

Laughing so hard because I've Been THERE! Luckily my boys are young and still don't like girls very much so nudity makes them EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I'm sure once puberty hits that will all change. Your blog is a good primer for me, SportsMama!

Anonymous said...

Rather amusing message