Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Who Defines Good Parenting?

Do you ever wonder what makes someone a good parent? I know I wonder all the time, and then I worry about whether or not I'm doing those things. Am I reading the right books? Do I watch the right TV shows? Do I seek advice from the correct experts? Am I enforcing the right rules? Do I sing the right song and dance the right dance?  Do I....Am I.....Can I....Should I....?

Grr. It's enough to make a mother's head explode. And while that might be highly entertaining the to the people I'm parenting, it probably wouldn't be the best way to be a good parent. After all, who needs a mother with a head that has exploded all over the place. Messy. Great science project material, but still messy. And I know my kids are not the kids who enjoy cleaning up messes. Especially messes created by someone else. And really....what mother wants to be forced to clean up her own head explosion?

Sorry. Went off on a tangent there.

I guess my whole point is that since each child is a different and unique person, parenting techniques should be different and unique to each child. Easier said than done, and yet....not. Think about it. If you don't have to follow set rules for how to work best with your child, doesn't it make it easier to tailor your approach to that temper tantrum or the first time they break curfew? Groundings, spankings, time outs, loss of privileges and playthings. The avid reader LOVES being grounded.... means no one is telling her to put down the book and get outside. The kid who doesn't really use his cell phone for much other than talking to YOU isn't going to be that upset when you take away the phone for a week. Or the household with only one car, making drive time almost non-existent for the teenage driver.....not a huge punishment to have the keys taken away.

I don't know if I'm a good parent. I don't think there is any real way to know for sure. I know people tell me THEY think I am. Heck, my boys even tell me they think I am, although that could just be their insurance against things like taking away the cell phones and the keys to the truck. I could just be really lucky that my kids aren't in jail, flunking out of school, and a general menace to society.

And that could be why I have never won a single thing in Vegas. I've used up all my luck raising awesome kids.


Big Mark 243 said...

Great post! And I like your explination for your lack of luck in Vegas. I would take having great children over winning the loot and having kids that are less grounded myself!

Anonymous said...

If you're looking for a good movie for the kids, the 2010 remake of Jack and the Beanstalk is a great one that demonstrates good values and morals. I watched it with my son and we both LOVED it. Become a fan of the Jack and the Beanstalk facebook page and you can watch the trailer and read about the cast, plus get ideas for fun family activities -

Burgh Baby said...

I swear I hit the jackpot when Alexis was assigned to me. The kid has been easy and generally good since the moment she was born. I kind of think my job is to just not get in her way.