Thursday, September 16, 2010

I Wish I Knew What I Was Doing Right So I Could Keep Doing It

Occasionally, I am presented with proof that my kids are turning out okay. In spite of the necessity of making decisions like ordering a pizza or suffering through one more night of tuna casserole. Despite the social-life-curtailing fact that we have been reduced to a single-car-but-three-driver family. Completely ignoring the rather obvious (because we live in Eternal Flip Flop Country) need for a pedicure that I'm once again turning my back on in exchange for half a tank more of gas for the week.

Yes, in spite of all of these things, I do believe that my boys just may be well on their way to becoming men to be proud of.

Last week, for many reasons, was just plain emotionally hard for me. It reached a point one day at work that I caught myself just sitting there, nearly in tears, staring off into the Great Nothingness; for no real reason I could discern apart from only having a can of Beefaroni for lunch and it just wasn't what I wanted. So, yeah. Last week kinda sucked great big rotten eggs.  And just like the family dog knows when you're injured and unable to play with him so he just gives you love, my boys always seem to know when I just need them to give me love.

The Teenager, that almost-man who is apparently making up for lost time and trying my patience on a near constant basis, for no reason that I can remember at this time, looked at me one night at said Mom, I'm actually glad we don't have any money and I can't have everything I want.

::blink blink::

Um, what? Not that I'm not grateful you feel that way, but um....why?

Well, I know so many kids at school who always get what they want. If something isn't done the way they want it, they just call mommy and daddy, and they fix it for them and buy them everything they want. They're spoiled, and they don't get it.  Me? I get it. I understand how important things are, because they're so much harder for us to get.

I stood there, with big tears in my eyes. Told him I loved him, and went about my night.

Later that evening, Bug and I were sitting in his room reading together when he looked up at me and said Mom, have I told you lately just how much I love you? And not because I want anything, just because I do and you should hear that a lot.

My kids? They are the best part of me. I'm so thankful to see that the best part of me? Isn't that bad, after all.

3 comments:

Tina said...

Tracy, they are awesome! You and Coach have done an incredible job raising them!!! It's no wonder the girlfriend's family enjoys spending time with Jock and you! Congratulations Mom!!!!

Burgh Baby said...

I love your kids. You done good, no doubt about it.

T said...

can you bottle those moments? they'd bring in some BIG bucks for sure!