Internet Porn and Happy Blogiversary to Me!

I'm sorry to tell you, at least one of those things will be ongoing until my boys move out and have their own computers to violate.  And it most likely will not be my blog. Wait.... my blog will still be here. I talk too much to ever entirely shut this down.

Seriously, though, having boys...well, having boys that are captivated by the more interesting and visual aspects of human anatomy... the internet porn thing will be ongoing. BUT... here's how I address it with my boys. And it generally curbs the activity for some time.

First, I make Coach leave the room. There is a part of most dads, no matter how moral and upstanding they may be, that is always 17 years old. That part of them would rather high-5 their son and make their own google-eyes at the screen. That part? Is not a helpful parenting partner. It's very difficult for them to talk about responsible Internet surfing, when their testosterone-laden brains are sidetracked with the thought, "Oh wow.... who cares if they're real? They're SPECTACULAR!", or with "Huh. Wonder if my wife can put HER ankles behind her ears?". So yeah. He gets to leave. I hate to reward him that way, but it really makes things easier.

Then I remind the boys that as embarrassing as it is for them to be hearing their mother say anything at all about naked bodies on the computer, it is equally embarrassing for me to be saying it. But since they chose to use MY computer to look, they get to listen to ME. This produces enough eye rolls that they are usually relaxed enough to talk seriously. So I take that opportunity to reassure them that it IS normal to be curious, it IS normal to push the boundaries I've laid out, and it IS normal to already be planning how they can do it again.

But then I also remind them that it is EXPECTED that they RESPECT the fact that it is a FAMILY computer. I ask them how they think their grandmother, or young cousins, would react if they sat down at our computer screen to play a game or open an email, and instead got a pop up of someone popping open? I have found that putting my children in the position of reflecting on how their actions can spread out and affect someone not actually in our immediate family works well. Let's face it. They don't care how it affects each other, and they live to embarrass and shock their parents. But grandma or the 5 year old cousin? Suddenly things aren't quite as exciting.


And, being no dummy, I frequently and with no warning whatsoever, check the history and the cookies on my computer, and call them out on it if something IS found. :) And then I tell them that I don't care which one of them it was, EVERYONE loses computer privileges if it happens again. They police each other then, and I usually get between 2 weeks and 6 months of "clean" computer time.

Poor Bug, though, when the Teenager moves out. With him gone, and dad never really home, there will be no one else to blame.

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And? Today is apparently my Blogiversary!  I *think* I've been doing this for about 4 years now. Wow. I would ask "Gee, who knew I had so much to talk about?", but then everyone who knows me would start jumping up and down, saying "Me! Me! Me! I DID!!!!", and that would cause such a rumbling that people from California to New York would think it was some very odd, very troubling earthquake happening. So, since I do NOT want to be the cause of any sort of major mass hysteria, I'll keep that question to myself.

Besides.... it would be redundant, anyway. After all, I knew I had this much to talk about. It's why I talk about it, after all.