Friday, September 7, 2007

Am I Blind or Just Senile?

Well, I need my eyes checked. Again. Hard to believe, but I am apparently seeing things where there really is nothing. Are hallucinations a sign of aging? 'Cuz I'm not taking anything fun. Guess it could be in the water?


Every time one of my darling children opens the pantry, the fridge, or any of the other cupboards, the first thing out of their mouths is:

"There's nothing to eat in this house! Nothing! Geez, Mom... can't you go shopping or something?"

Bear in mind that there is no real way to predict when this will happen. It's happened just as frequently 2 hours after I get home from the grocery store as it has the night before I go. And I never buy just enough for the week we're in. There is always more food in that pantry than there really needs to be at any given time. At least, I see the food there. I can see the apples, the salad fixin's, the Go-Gurts, heck--even a chocolate bar or two, in the fridge. I can always manage to find some mac-n-cheese, ramen noodles, crackers (both the cardboard kind --Triscuit/Wheat Thins-- and the yummy kind --Townhouse or Ritz-- are represented in my pantry. Its an equal opportunity cracker house here!), cookies, maybe even Fruit Roll Ups if I was feeling generous that week, in the pantry. I can also see the Spaghetti O's, the raviolis and the cans of tuna in the other cupboards.

However, I am apparently blind and don't have a clue what actual food is. Just ask my kids. Because they will stand in the pantry just staring at the shelves (full of what I would call food, mind you), or stand in front of the open refrigerator. Just stand there. Staring. For-freaking-ever. Then they'll shut the door, tell me there isn't any food in this house, and open the doors again. To look. Again. Because of course there is the chance that we have little food gnomes that are just messing with their minds by moving things when they're not looking. And when I make a genuinely motherly attempt to direct their attention to the various food items just hanging out waiting for one of the boys to actually want them, I get eyes rolled into the back of their heads, and an "You just don't get it, Mom."

Guess not. Although it might be fun if they can manage to roll their eyes completely around if I point out all the food in the freezer outside.

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