I want to be everyone's favorite mom by the time Jock graduates high school. Its my fondest dream. My greatest desire. The thing I want most in the world.
Nope. Doesn't take much to please me.
However, my children aren't helping me realize this dream. They would much rather go OUT and play, or meet their friends at the school events than have them come over or have me drive everyone everywhere. I ask you, how are all of their friends supposed to fall in love with me (as a replacement mom, not as one of those crazy-stupid-land-my-butt-in-jail sort of ways!) if these friends never even know who I am? I happened to mention this to Jock the other day. Suddenly, I'm being swamped with requests to have his friends over or to drive him and his friends places.
The trick, as I see it, is going to be how to achieve this dream without being trampled under their cleats and taken advantage of. Now, I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to do this. See, I really, really, really want to be the one everyone calls "Mom". I want his friends and girlfriends to all talk about how wonderful I am. There is not much more that would make me happier. Oh, sure.... I'd be thrilled if he got good grades, was a super-success at any and all sports he goes out for, was polite and respectful to his teachers. But none of those things are things that I can claim as my own accomplishments. BUT.... if everyone loved me, well then we'd all know it was because I'm just wonderful. :) Ok. I know that those other accomplishments would be due to his fabulous upbringing, and could be traced directly back to how wonderful a mother I am. But work with me here. I want the recognition.
Alright. In all seriousness, I really am not this insecure about my parenting skills. I know that I'm doing some things right with these boys. They DO have manners outside the house. They DO call people "Sir" and "Ma'am", and Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so when they meet them. They ARE respectful to their teachers. They DO have decent grades, and they ARE spectacular athletes. (Ok... I can't really take much credit for that last one. That ability is solely due to Coach's genetics and a benevolent God.) But as long as my kids think I'm doing this solely for selfish reasons, I can stay actively involved in their lives for a longer time. Since they'll all be hanging out at my house, or since I'll have been the taxi for the evening, I'll have firsthand knowledge about their activities and the people involved. There will be less opportunity for sneaking around and getting into trouble. They wouldn't be quite as accommodating if they thought I wanted to know everyone just so that I could nose around in their lives. This way, they think they're helping dear old mom. So see? There really is a method to my madness.
Now. If only it works.
12 comments:
Ha! Sounds like you've got it all figured out! Woohoo!!
Lord knows I'm trying! :) Not sure if I'm sneaky enough, though. They're pretty smart, my boys. ;)
Hey, I can give you the inside scoop on how to help with that...listen to their kind of music in the car. Yeah, you might like country (don't know if you do), or show tunes, jazz or any other of the multiple genres out there...but if you at least allow them to play their music in the car while you are driving da bus, you got them.
It even better if you enjoy their music. Trust me. LOL!
That was one trick I've already been doing. :) Its so funny to see them staring at me with their mouths hanging open when I know the words to any of the songs they listen to. Although I have to say, I'm fortunate in that my kids like the classic rock that I grew up on! :) Makes it much easier to put up with it in the car!
From what I've read, you are one pretty cool mom.
BTW, "Hot Soup" is an indicator that you've posted something new within the last 48 hours. It's automated through Blogroll. I just set the preferences. It does the rest.
Blogroll is how I blogroll people, like you, for example.
Just read your 12 Oct. post. Bravo! I feel the same way about license plates. Always thought that.
LBB: Thanks! :)
And thanks for clearing up the Hot Soup thing... now I know! :) I'll have to maybe actually go look at my Blogroll account thing, and see how I maybe need to set mine up. :)
my stategy was to volunteer in my kids high school..
everyone knew me..and my daughter was forced to love me and want me around..
it worked
You need to be known as their friend first. Not so and so's Mom or dad. Once they learn that you can be their friend and a mom second you will start earning their trust. But remember if they tell you something in confidence it must remain in confidence. At this point if what they share with you dosen't seem right then this is where your parenting skills come into play. Try to steer them in the right direction and be there for them if they fail. And let them know they too can also call you mom. Then you can be there for them and they are always welcome in your home too. Just like one of your own. Hopefully they will feel like they can talk to you and you will really care about their decisions in life.
Cynnie and Anon.: Thanks for the tips!
LOL.
I was just pondering this very thing the other day. True my eldest is only 10, and she has a new school because she's really smart, but still, I want to be everyone's surrogate Mom, but not get trampled on.
On the other hand, my idea of heaven is a house with just me and my kids, all doing our happy things, and i get to read my book and watch them or snuggle with them. I am a boring person that way.
Midas, I have to agree with your idea of heaven! I love just snuggling up with my youngest while we both read.
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