Monday, October 29, 2007
Aha! And you thought you could escape my notice today? I think not!
Ok. Seriously. Apparently I'm having some difficulty coming up with something to write about today. Its not that I don't have a lot on my mind. Actually, its probably the total opposite. If anything, there is probably too much on my mind right now.
It occurs to me that even though we haven't gotten through Halloween yet, I'd better begin thinking about Christmas. Getting through that particular holiday gets harder and harder every year with my kids. Not that its ever bad. Its not. Its just that Matchbox cars and cardboard boxes don't make them as happy as they used to. And no, my boys aren't as greedy as that just made them sound. The problem is that I want to do more and more for them as they get older. And I'm finding that I can't.
I'm also thinking about how they're growing up right in front of me. Its not the fact that Jock is a full 6 inches taller than me. Its not that he's shaving now. Its not that Bug seems to have overnight aged about 3 years. Its not even that they don't want to cuddle with me so much anymore. (Although that makes me sad.) Its more that I find myself remembering more often how lovable they were as babies and toddlers. Or how excited they used to be to tell me all about their day, and I never had to pry the information out of them.
I find myself remembering how much fun Coach and I had when we were dating. On our first date, he took me to see Pinocchio. I am a huge Disney fan, and that was one of the sweetest things anyone had done for me. I remember when he met my baby brother, who at the time was one of the most important people in my life. Coach took The Baby and I to lunch, and told him that he could have anything he wanted off the menu. Which really probably wasn't the smartest thing Coach could have done. My brother was only 8 at the time, and his eyes were MUCH bigger than his stomach. Coach reassured me that it was no big deal; he'd said "anything". (Still wonder why I married him?)
It dawned on me that our 15th anniversary is coming up in about 6 weeks. We have always talked about renewing our vows on our 15th anniversary, especially the last couple of years when we discovered we liked each other again. And I guess I'm just kind of bummed that we aren't going to be able to do that, for a lot more reasons than just because we haven't even started planning for it. I'm not writing off the idea, though. I'm just going to have to think a bit harder about it.
So yeah. As you can see there is a lot of stuff running around in my head. Random stuff. I couldn't tell you why I'm thinking about most of what I'm thinking about. All I know is that my mind is so full I can't shut it down most of the time.
*sigh* That's ok. Sleep is highly overrated, anyway.