I'm sitting here waiting for the hit man ... um, contract killer?... no, THE EXTERMINATOR to get here. He should have been here 1/2 an hour ago.
I do not wait patiently. For anything.
I'm not quite sure how many virtues there actually are, but since Patience is one of them, and I lack that particular one...... apparently I'm not a virtuous woman. Sad fact, but true nonetheless.
For example, with both pregnancies we induced me a couple of days BEFORE my due date. Ok sure.... they were ginormous babies and my torso didn't provide a heckuva lot of room in there. But, I was done waiting. Simply done. If my doctor hadn't agreed to bring them into the world at that point, I was seriously contemplating taking up jogging. And believe me when I tell you that I.HATE.EXERCISE.
My lack of patience is the reason Coach doesn't get me any birthday or Christmas gifts until the day before. I don't leave him alone about them. And it is never a pretty sight to see a grown woman beg. For anything.
On a somewhat related (although I prefer to term it "Proactive Parenting of a High School Athlete" and not impatience) note......
We've got Jock registered for two separate football combines here over the next two weeks. For those not in the know, a combine is where high school football players (although really? For all I know they might hold these for other sports as well) go to get tested and receive their national athlete ranking. The organizers of these combines then take the scores of your athlete, and send them out to Division I, Division AA and Division 2 (or would that be II??) schools across the country. The idea is to get him on the radar of these schools and their recruiting committees. So that in four years when they are once again handing out scholarships they will absolutely be setting one aside for my boy.
At least, that's the plan.
Coach and I long ago (and by long ago, I really only mean a couple of years ago when we realized how talented Jock was!) decided not to wait for his coaches to promote him to college recruiters. We made a promise to Jock that if he committed himself to playing to the best of his abilities (and then some) we'd commit to promoting the heck out of him to every college he was interested in (and then some!).
Which means I get to drag my Nyquil-needing (yes, I actually NEED the stuff tonight.... damn karma caught up with me for using it when I didn't actually need to breathe) behind out of bed early two Saturdays in a row to take him to these things. Where I will proceed to wait for him to get through these testing areas. Where there will be HUNDREDS of other boys. Which means, if you can do ANY sort of mental math, that I will be waiting ALL.DAMN.DAY.
As I've already mentioned I don't wait patiently, AT ALL......
Its gonna be a long day.
But hey! I'm tough. After all, I'm the type of woman who can calmly, with absolutely no regret at all, go and hire hit men, um... contract killers?, to wipe out entire colonies....settlements.... civilizations in a single afternoon.
And I'll smile about it, too.
Hmmm...... someone might want to re-think that "G" rating they gave me the other day....
I'm just sayin'.