Saturday, January 12, 2008

My Kids Have Abandonment Issues

I think I've mentioned here before that I'm blessed to have a great relationship with my in-laws. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are actually counted among my friends, and for that I'm very grateful. For one thing, it makes my marriage just that much easier. Those of you out there who might not have such a great relationship with your MIL know what I'm talking about. I'm not sure if way back in the beginning she consciously made the decision to befriend her son's new wife, or if I made the decision to befriend that Unknown But Oft Described As Evil Entity Called Mother-In-Law; but it was good decision on both our parts.

All of that lead in to tell you about last night.

My mother-in-law (from this point forward, I'm going to call her Mama G, since that is easier than typing out "mother-in-law" and sounds better than MIL) and sister-in-law (who will hereafter be known simply as Sis, since I honestly do consider her the sister I never had) decided to kidnap me for a Girls' Night Out. I don't get to do those but once in a blue moon, so Coach was even enthusiastic about it. (Although that might have been just so that he could have some uninterrupted XBox 360 time. Damn "Call of Duty".)

On my way out, I made sure to stop at each son's room to chat for a few minutes and say goodnight. Bug, sweetheart that he is, told me I smelled good and to have fun. Jock, however, looked at me with his big, soulful brown eyes full of confusion, and said:

But ..... what about dinner for us? Aren't you feeding us?

When I reminded him that he's 14 and more than capable of feeding himself (he long ago discovered how easy ramen is!), he replied: But .... you're the mom. I didn't think he could sound anymore pathetic than the first question, but he proved me wrong.

I just shook my head, gave him a hug, told him I loved him and left.

WooHoo!!! I was FREE, baby!

We went to a small local bar, where I proceeded to have two Long Island Iced Teas. Two. That's it. I even had a plate of chicken strips, so I could honestly say my evening wasn't all liquid! Didn't matter. See, I don't drink much. Hardly at all, actually. Its a source of endless amusement in Coach's family to actually have an evening where I AM drinking, as its pretty much a guarantee that I'll be the most hilarious person in the room! However, I wasn't that bad. Just giggled a lot. :)

In my defense, there was a lot to giggle at! At the bar next to where were sitting, there was a lesbian couple and a rather large man that one of the women was teasing rather shamelessly. The more "masculine" of the two women was making snarky (funny, but snarky nonetheless) comments to the poor guy about who was going home with the tease in question. Now, while that was a somewhat funny conversation to listen to, the part that made Sis and I laugh until we cried was when we had to explain to Mama G that the "little guy" was actually a woman. Priceless!

And so the night ended with a lot of laughs. I ended up staying over at Mama G's house, which left my boys at home. Seems to me that my freedom gave them theirs, as well! But when I called home this morning, on my way from Mama G's house to a baby shower I was going to for a friend, Bug answered.

B: Hi Mom!
Me: Hi baby!
B: Why didn't you come home last night? Were you drunk?
Me: No, I was not.
B: But you were drinking (said with the utmost disgust, I might add!), weren't you?
Me: I only had two. That did not make me drunk, but you know my rule about not driving when drinking at all. So I stayed the night at Grandma's house.
B: So where's your car? Who drove last night? And what about Grandma? Was she drinking too?
Me: My car is with me right now. Grandma drove, and no, she wasn't drinking.

For cryin' out loud. The kid was worse than my dad! It was all I could do to not laugh when he was giving me the third degree. But I know he meant well, and I'm honestly glad to know that some of what we've been teaching them has obviously sunk in a bit.

But I guess next time I should try to sneak back in before he wakes up!


Amy said...

Sounds like a fun evening. Any evening that includes TWO Long Islands is bound to be interesting! So Coach wasn't worried about you not coming home? Was he so busy playing Call of Duty, that he didn't notice?

Thanks for your comments. I'm happy to have you on my fridge. I have a very involved procedure in which I keep track of posts that entertain me, and the blogger with the most of these posts gets top position. Your spot is very well deserved!

The Sports Mama said...

Amy, thanks again! It really does feel totally cool to be on your fridge! :)

He knew I wasn't coming home. I called him around midnight or so to tell him... lol. He told me to just stay there, he'd be fine.

The funny thing? We both figured he'd spread out on the bed, taking up the whole thing and sleeping with MY pillow. Nope! The bed showed that he stayed on his side the entire night, and didn't touch my pillow! :)

Flea said...

Oh how funny! My husband does that same 360 Call of Duty thing when I'm gone. I hate the XBox! Mostly because of the more adult games than the Nintendos we've always had.

So glad you had such a great time. You're right about being very blessed to have such a good relationship with the in-laws. The stereotypes exist for a reason. The movie Monster In Law could have been about my MIL. Ugh.

Sue said...


We go out so *ahem* frequently that when we do, the kids will call the cell phone and say things like..."Do you KNOW what time it is?" BTW, that happened at 10 p.m. LMAO!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I, too, am a Call of Duty widow. He did sound just like an overprotective parent. That is Fun ny!

Maria said...

Oh funny. Hi, I'm Maria. I just found your blog and love it! My 14 yo daughter read this post too, actually I read it to her because it was so funny, and she said, "OMG, even I can take care of myself. Of course, I'm a girl, and girl know how to take care of themselves." Also, it's so nice that you have that great relationship with your MIL and SIL. I love my MIL too, only because she has the same philosophy as me. We just make it work. We never get mad at anything, no matter what. We TRY to get along. I'll be coming back soon! See Ya.

LunaNik said...

i'm soooo jealous of your girls night out! i need one badly!! glad you had some fun and got the break you deserve.

p.s. my hubby is addicted to call of duty also. he's playing online right now. truth be told, i love to watch him play. i always point out the "bad guys" for him to shoot at

KIDZMAMA said...

So glad you got a night out. A whole night out! And the Long Island Iced Tea sounds great. I don't really drink either. But two of any alcoholic drink and I'm just too silly.

It's good to see the boys are overprotective of their mom.

Karen said...

I love that the kids were so concerned about both their wellbeing without you, and about you drinking and driving. Hopefully you won't ever have to grill them like that!

So glad you were able to have a great time with your wonderful family. :)

The Sports Mama said...

Flea, believe me..I know how fortunate I am with my in-laws!

Sue, mine have been known to do that, too! :)

AFF, I can be sitting right next to him when he's playing and he doesn't quite realize I'm there!

Maria, welcome! Thanks for coming by and commenting! Look back through my posts, and you'll see that Jock really is a good kid!

Lunanik, I actually watch him play quite a bit. He doesn't always know I'm there, but its fun to watch how involved he gets!

Kidzmama and Karen, it was so great to just get out for a little bit. I think my favorite part was actually spending the night away. Bad as it sounds, it was so wonderful to not have to share the bed, to not have someone waking up in the middle of the night to crawl in bed with me, and to have NO SNORING! :)

Anonymous said...

Last time I had a glass of wine with dinner, my son asked me if I was going to get drunk. They're viscious!!! lol...great post!

Rachel said...

Hell's Bells! 2 LIT's wowza! At least you tempered them with Chicken Strips. Sounds like y'all had a wonderful time. Good for you.
I love your little warden, that's adorable :-)