Monday, September 22, 2008

I'm Just Doing My Part

I am a firm believer in stimulating the economy where I can. I'd rather pay someone who knows what they're doing to fix something for me than do it myself. That applies to cooking, as well. I'd rather go out to eat and pay someone who knows what they're doing than do it myself. Whenever possible, I also like to go shopping. Yes, it's generally bookstores that hold my eternal love and admiration; but I have been known to shop for the occasional pair of shoes or really cute pants. You know.... the ones that make me look at least 4 sizes smaller?

So, in the spirit of stimulating the economy on an ongoing basis, I have decided to wholeheartedly embrace my current inability to pay all of my bills in what my creditors would consider a timely manner. How can this possibly help to stimulate the economy? you might be asking. Really, there are several ways. One, by not paying down that pesky credit card balance (or six, who's counting?), I continue to accrue a greater debt due to interest, late fees and eventually over the limit fees. So it stands to reason that once I can get those paid, I will have paid much more money to those creditors than originally intended. Thus, stimulating the economy. Isn't it always considered an economic stimulus to continually have more money going out of your hands than remaining in them via a stable savings account?

But perhaps the very best way I'm helping the economy by not paying my bills is the collection calls. For every day that I don't pay a creditor, I'm receiving a collections call. At least one, but more often there are upwards of a dozen or so. By not paying my bills, I'm ensuring someone else's job security. Several someones actually. The actual call center employee who is manning the headset. The manager of that employee's "team" at said call center. The General Manager of that call center. Ultimately, the President of XYZ Credit Card Company. Multiply this by the total number of creditors I have, and I've effectively employed a small city. Does anyone else see how incredibly generous I'm being to the state of the Union and it's treasury by not paying my bills???

So, the next time they call I'm going to explain all of this to them. And, like I do with my children, remind them of their manners by demanding a THANK YOU.

That call should be coming in about 3....2.....1...... ring!ring!ring!


Rachel said...


Singing Amen Praises and Hallelujahs!

Love this. Brilliant.

Flea said...

Oh ugh. I hear ya. No credit cards here, but a lifetime worth of student loans, a second mortgage and three children hoping for college. *groan*

Rockin Austin said...

OH...this is good...I like it. Creative thinking was always your strength!

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I know the feeling. Everything costs so much more than it did. We can't seem to get ahead.