Is anyone else as bored with me as I am?
I mean, honestly.... I feel almost like since I started adding pictures in occasionally I've sort of given myself a free pass on verbal creativity. It's not that my posts are bad, per se, just that they're sort of ..... blah. Unimaginative. Certainly not as descriptive as they used to be. (I could be wrong, here. It could be that I used to just be incredibly verbose. Or "wordy" for those of you out there who, like Coach, are looking at that screen thinking WTH does "verbose" mean?? Aw geez... now that makes him sound bad. Never mind then, everyone--most especially including Coach--knows what "verbose" means. And now I'll put my thesaurus back on the shelf, thankyouverymuch.)
I think I might have gotten so caught up in wondering what picture I can write about that I'm missing moments I can expound on. Moments I can record for posterity. Moments I can prod my memory with when I hit the Golden Years of Dementia. You know, when BOTH boys are teenagers.
And there have been some spectacular moments in my life, lately.
Moments when I catch myself falling in love with my husband all over again. (He made dinner from scratch last night while I hid in my room with a headache. The BEST vegetable beef stew EVER.) Moments when I know, just know, I'd marry him all over again despite having been through everything we've been through. Moments of extreme thankfulness for the small things about him, like the rough skin on his hands... as it simply proves how hard he works for his family; the aches in his back, knees and feet....as he deliberately endures those day after day so that he can make sure that we have enough milk in the fridge and gas in the car; the suntan line from his sunglasses at his temples....that just turns darker every weekend he spends on the football or baseball field coaching his sons; or how he reaches out for me when I crawl into bed beside him at night, despite being completely sound asleep and mumbles I love you into the pillow.
Moments when I realize I'm watching my children with some secret smile on my face, torn between pride in the young men they are growing into, and heartache over the little boys they are leaving behind. Moments when I realize that my boys are truly the funniest people on my Earth, and the ones who bring me the most deep down to my soul joy. The moments of laughter over a new word or phrase that Jock creates when he's trying so hard to sound more mature than he really is. The moments of shocked amusement when Bug states some personality fact about himself that is just too true not to chuckle at (Why do I ask for things at the store constantly, Mom? It's just the kind of kid I am. I know I won't get it, but I still have to ask.). Moments of such bone deep peacefulness, when Bug will snuggle up with me at night, and still ask me to sing to him at bedtime. And moments of gratefulness when Jock will lay his head in my lap and ask me to rub his back while we're watching a movie. At 15, I know I won't get much more of that.
The pictures are great, don't get me wrong. They're a reflection of the bigger things we get to experience and enjoy. But these? These are the moments that shape my life.
More than that, these moments ARE my life. And I revel in every one of them.