Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Who Knew It Was This Easy?

When Jock was in 5th grade, the school provided some vague educational unit on growth and development, and what to expect during puberty. The teacher talked about body hair growth and how hormones would make your armpits stinky and your face oily. Then they were all sent home with a trial size Old Spice deodorant stick. This discussion, while leaving the truly difficult difficult discussions of puberty to the parents, was still somewhat helpful for these kids. And that little deodorant stick was kinda cute.

Last week, Bug walked in the door after school announcing that he was a man, now and showing off that same cute little Old Spice deodorant stick. Having signed a permission slip recently, this statement didn't alarm me so much as it made me smile at his certainty that growing up just required deodorant. Although after asking him to tell me more about what he learned, I discovered that manhood apparently was just a bit more involved.

So, Bug....what did you guys learn?

Well, we learned about puberty. Mr. C told us about deodorant, and taught us how to pop a pimple.

**blink blink**

Really? How to pop a pimple?? They're teaching that these days?? And since I'm some sort of strange, I asked Bug to tell me just how to pop a pimple. Besides, I could tell he was way excited to tell me, what with the bounciness and silly smile on his face.

Okay, so first, you have to tell if its just a red bump, or if it has a white top. See, if its a red bump, you just leave it alone, 'cuz if you try popping that one you'll just make it worse. And no one wants that. But, if it's got a white top, you take your pointer fingers from each hand and just try to softly squeeze it two times. That's it... just two times. If it hasn't popped by then, it's just not ready and you should just leave it alone. Then you can try again the next day, and it should be ready then. And so see, Mom... once I can do that right, I'm a man. And I've got deodorant, too, so I'm set!

Well, then. Apparently, becoming a man is so much easier than I imagined it to be.


Cecily R said...

Wow! I feel so much better about raising a boy now! :)

I think Isaac's class on being a man must have been a little more in depth. He DID come home with the baby sized deoderant, but Jon was there and according to him there were more giggly moments...only some of them from him. :)

Flea said...

Good thing for Bug that entering manhood has relaxed its requirements so much. Great for my boys, too. Thanks for the heads up!

LegalChic said...

That is very cute and very funny :)I wonder how different the girls talk is lol. By the time I was getting those kinda talks it was after I already knew and it was a lot more visual lol.


Rockin Austin said...

HAHAHAHAHA! OMG, I'm laughing out loud in my office. Love it!

T said...

HA - wish I'd learned that about pimples back then!

Funny Story: (because you KNOW you love my stories) when my oldest was in 5th they had a variety of brands of deodorant to choose from - and after all of the embarrassing Other discussion, the kids all got to come to the front to pick - their teacher asked my son "what flavor do you want?" - which caused quite a bit of consternation for a child who hadn't yet used deodorant and wasn't 100% sure that "flavor" wasn't important...

T said...

hmmm... maybe it was more of a locational joke - you had to be there?

we still ask him what flavor deodorant we should pick up at the store

melissa said...

it's absolutely hilarious that they are teaching the kids to pop their pimples. yet...somewhat disgusting, no?
when my oldest son was in fourth grade, he REFUSED to do family life. boy was he shocked in fifth grade!

Burgh Baby said...

I REALLY hope nobody was singled out as a test subject for that demonstration! YUCK!

I Am Boymom said...

I remember health class...we were told NOT to pop pimples, to leave them alone. EEEWWW! I was so not going to walk around with an icky white pimple! No free deoderant. Sad. I guess I better gear up for my talks soon. Not quite ready!