When Jock was in 5th grade, the school provided some vague educational unit on growth and development, and what to expect during puberty. The teacher talked about body hair growth and how hormones would make your armpits stinky and your face oily. Then they were all sent home with a trial size Old Spice deodorant stick. This discussion, while leaving the truly difficult difficult discussions of puberty to the parents, was still somewhat helpful for these kids. And that little deodorant stick was kinda cute.
Last week, Bug walked in the door after school announcing that he was a man, now and showing off that same cute little Old Spice deodorant stick. Having signed a permission slip recently, this statement didn't alarm me so much as it made me smile at his certainty that growing up just required deodorant. Although after asking him to tell me more about what he learned, I discovered that manhood apparently was just a bit more involved.
So, Bug....what did you guys learn?
Well, we learned about puberty. Mr. C told us about deodorant, and taught us how to pop a pimple.
Really? How to pop a pimple?? They're teaching that these days?? And since I'm some sort of strange, I asked Bug to tell me just how to pop a pimple. Besides, I could tell he was way excited to tell me, what with the bounciness and silly smile on his face.
Okay, so first, you have to tell if its just a red bump, or if it has a white top. See, if its a red bump, you just leave it alone, 'cuz if you try popping that one you'll just make it worse. And no one wants that. But, if it's got a white top, you take your pointer fingers from each hand and just try to softly squeeze it two times. That's it... just two times. If it hasn't popped by then, it's just not ready and you should just leave it alone. Then you can try again the next day, and it should be ready then. And so see, Mom... once I can do that right, I'm a man. And I've got deodorant, too, so I'm set!
Well, then. Apparently, becoming a man is so much easier than I imagined it to be.