Saturday, November 28, 2009

Where Did All The Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Disappear To??

There are certain aspects to your personality that you lose when you are a mother to just boys. I'm not sure it's the same thing for fathers who parent just girls, either. You lose some of your innate "girl-ness". Think about this:

If you only have sons, when was the last time you saw a musical or other stereotypical "chick flick" when it first came out in the theater? Or did you have to wait until months after it finally appeared on cable, and even then it wasn't a premium movie channel, just TBS or something?

If you have only sons, when was the last time you were able to take your time shopping for a bra and panties that were more pretty than functional?  Or the last time you were able to at least take enough time to make sure you bought some in your size, not just grab the closest thing to the aisle you were speed walking past so that the boys weren't scarred for life by the mental picture of their mother owning undergarments with lace and leopard prints on them?

If you have only sons, when was the last time you were able to actually go and get your hair "done", including color and styling if you wanted it? Or have you found you just have to settle for quickly getting it cut?

I finally saw Mama Mia for the FIRST TIME about two weeks ago. And if I hadn't found it on some random station after the boys had gone to bed and I was trying to avoid giving in to Coach's insane obsession with ESPN Sports Center at all freakin' hours, I'm fairly certain I STILL wouldn't have seen it.  Another of my all time favorite movies (and yes, I know it has no real cinematic value, and I don't care. I love it anyway!), Grease 2, was on recently. And again, if I hadn't lucked into running across it late one night I would have missed it.  None of my guys, Coach included, will watch those movies with me. Not at the theater; will not let me grab them at Blockbuster; and will run and hide if they come on at home. 

I won't give you entirely too much information about the state of my underwear, but just know that I haven't worn lace and leopard print since Jock was looking at puberty. I haven't been able to get enough time to myself to go someplace besides Wally World to look, and I usually have the boys with me when I'm there. Some things they just don't need to know, I think.

But as God is my witness, I WILL get my hair done again some day! I will once again have two or three colors weaved into it, with a cut so professional it will naturally look like I just didn't do a thing with it. And I will be wearing lace when it happens. And then I might even bring home a copy of Pirates of Penzance to watch afterwards. At 11:00 in the morning. On a Saturday.

And I will remember to put ID bracelets on all of my menfolk, so that when I have to track them down after they run screaming out of the house I can find them easily.

After the movie, of course.


Burgh Baby said...

I have a girl and I still don't do any of those things. What the hell?

hipumpkins said...

Funny post I was particularly laughing at the Grease 2 comment. It is my guilty pleasure and everyone teases me for it.

Rockin Austin said...

Oh my, I'm reading these backwards and this is a close second to the latest post. :) If you come visit (one day it WILL happen) I will take you to Fredrick's (WOOHOO) or someplace nice (Vicky's) and then we'll rent chick flicks or see the latest one in the theatre...and we'll get pedicures while we're at it. Girlie, girlie stuff!