Monday, August 11, 2008

Sterile Bubble For One, Please

"Psst.... hey! I found this awesome place we can host a killer party! You in?"

"Really? You found somewhere? Ohmygawd...we are going to be sooo popular!"

"I KNOW!! Ok, so you call everyone in your cell phone, and I'll call everyone in mine... tell all of them to call everyone in theirs....... and then we'll all meet up at this place! Its huge! Ok, so its a little run down lately, but still! The owner hasn't been paying any attention to it, or taking care of it.... its like she WANTS us to take over!"

"OOOhhhh....those are the BEST places! You can hang out for DAYS before the owners are strong enough to kick you out! Plus, I've heard places like that have the total hook up when it comes to the really good drugs. I am sooo in!"

"Fabulous! Just be sure to tell everyone to be super quiet when they first arrive. We don't want anything tipping the owner off as to how kick-ass this thing is really going to be, you know? We want to make sure everyone who can possibly come is already there before we make ourselves known. And once we do? We are totally going to blow this place up!"

And yes. I am fully aware that the gypsy partiers who have taken residence in my body sound like teenage girls. I don't think that's something I can really control, do you?

I'm sick. The sniffling, sneezing, coughing, achy, stuffy-head, fever, go through an entire box of tissue in one day, buy stock in NyQuil and Advil kind of sick. And I'm not happy about it, either.

And God love my guys... they all subscribe to the theory that keeping to as normal a routine as possible is the best, absolute best, way to get over being sick quickly. And since they love me sooo much, they want me to get better even faster! So they've all gone that extra mile these last few days......

Not one ounce of help with the laundry.

No one volunteered to do the vacuuming for me.

While they offered to go with me, no one told me to simply stay home from the grocery store.

It is still expected that dinner is cooked every night. And frozen pizzas simply will not do.

Quite frankly, I'm beginning to fear Coach is raising a couple of sadists without my knowledge or consent. Or they simply like the added flavor that cold germs bring to a meal. Either one is not a good option.

So, anyone know a way to evict these teenage gypsy girls from my system? 'Cuz the internal giggling every time I down a dose of NyQuil is really getting annoying.


Flea said...

Oh SM! You poor thing! Nasty colds are the worst thing ever. Why do men think nothing is seriously wrong when we feel like crap? Sleep, sleep, sleep!

Sully Sullivan said...

There's no cure for the common cold, but I can call your kids and tell them to fuck off if you'd like.

Just bury yourself in bed and let them fend for themselves.

Kidzmama said...

A summer cold is the worst! I know it's warm (hot!) there year round. But it's the summer attitude that makes the cold worse. I'm with Flea, sleep! There's no way you're going to keep up with the mess. Let it go and get better!

Karen said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry you're under the control of gypsie party-goers. Not fun. Here's hoping that they get evicted soon.

Rockin Austin said...

Sorry you're still feeling crummy...Summer colds are the worst.

Burgh Baby said...

Dang, that sucks. I hope you're feeling better soon. Perhaps well enough to participate in a girls only twitter fantasy football league . . .

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

That's perty much just wrong. I would've thought being older, they would be good and helpful. Darn boys.

*~*Cece*~* said...

Summer colds are the worst! Sorry, no clue but letting it do its thing. And you need to be vocal to the men in your lives that you're sick, its the weekend (almost) and you're going to rest your body. Don't ask for dinner, a ride or anything from you! Its not being mean, either, its tough love. They'll survive. ;)

Hope you feel better.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Who's too good for frozen pizza?

Susie said...

LOL! sorry about the cold, I too am recovering from the big bad summer version, but the giggling teenagers are making ME giggle!

I agree with lightning--frozen pizza's rock! You can be sick at my house anytime!