It occurs to me, after recent conversations with people who profess to love me, that I might need to consider looking into hiring a personal motivational speaker. You know, to boost my soon-to-be-flagging self esteem.
The A/C continues to be non-existent in my car. Bug and I were driving around one afternoon, in the middle of all that is hot and hellish here in the desert.
Bug: Sheesh its hot.
Me: I know. Look at me sweating over here!
Bug: It's good to sweat like that, Mom! I learned that sweating burns off fat!!
Me: Trust me, baby..... its not working very well.
(cue deer in the headlights look for my sweet, little Bug)
Bug: I'm not saying you're fat, Mom. Really, I'm not!
Of course, his brother's just as clueless. I've apparently blocked out the surrounding context, as I was amazingly traumatized, but Coach and Jock were discussing the hotness of some two-dimensional bimbo or another, and were disagreeing on at least one of her finer points.
Jock: Well, honestly, Dad.... you've just got lousy tasted in women. Just look at everyone you've ever found attractive!
Coach: ::hysterical laughter, tears flowing freely::
Me: Dude..... not cool.
(yet another deer caught in the headlights)
Jock: Not you, Mom. You're the only pretty one!
And, on the off chance that my self-esteem was still fully intact.......
Me: Mom, I've been giving a lot of thought to how to make some extra cash fast. I decided I'd start hanging out in Vegas on the weekends. Prostitution's legal there, you know.
My mom: Oh honey, I don't think that's such a good idea.
Well, the economy being what it is these days and all.......