Tuesday, September 9, 2008

They Certainly Keep Me Humble

It occurs to me, after recent conversations with people who profess to love me, that I might need to consider looking into hiring a personal motivational speaker. You know, to boost my soon-to-be-flagging self esteem.

The A/C continues to be non-existent in my car. Bug and I were driving around one afternoon, in the middle of all that is hot and hellish here in the desert.

Bug: Sheesh its hot.
Me: I know. Look at me sweating over here!
Bug: It's good to sweat like that, Mom! I learned that sweating burns off fat!!

::blink blink::

Me: Trust me, baby..... its not working very well.

(cue deer in the headlights look for my sweet, little Bug)

Bug: I'm not saying you're fat, Mom. Really, I'm not!

Of course, his brother's just as clueless. I've apparently blocked out the surrounding context, as I was amazingly traumatized, but Coach and Jock were discussing the hotness of some two-dimensional bimbo or another, and were disagreeing on at least one of her finer points.

Jock: Well, honestly, Dad.... you've just got lousy tasted in women. Just look at everyone you've ever found attractive!
Coach: ::hysterical laughter, tears flowing freely::
Me: Dude..... not cool.

::blink blink::

(yet another deer caught in the headlights)

Jock: Not you, Mom. You're the only pretty one!

And, on the off chance that my self-esteem was still fully intact.......

Me: Mom, I've been giving a lot of thought to how to make some extra cash fast. I decided I'd start hanging out in Vegas on the weekends. Prostitution's legal there, you know.
My mom: Oh honey, I don't think that's such a good idea.

Well, the economy being what it is these days and all.......


Flea said...

LOL!!! (wiping tears from my eyes) Mine say things like that intentionally. No deer in headlights here. :D

Karen said...

Thanks for the morning laugh! I'm sorry it was at your expense, but if it makes you feel any better my boys have no qualms about coming right out and saying "fat like you."

Sully Sullivan said...

Wow that hilarious.

Don't worry, your boys need to learn how to put their foot in their mouth around women at an early age because they'll be doing a lot more as they get older.

Rockin Austin said...

Ah honey...you're beautiful and you know it. Boys...silly creatures.

Cecily R said...

Okay, Sully's comment was AWESOME and totally blows and quip I would have had out of the water.

So. I'll say this. DOn't let them get you down. You could totally be a hooker.