Tuesday, November 4, 2008

If Geoffery Could See Me Now

"I don't wanna grow up...." I remember one specific night when I was about 15 or so, and my friends and I were at some parade or other, when who should walk right by? That damn 15 foot giraffe. I look at my teenager some days and wonder how I ever got from there to here.

There are a lot of people I would like to be like when I grow up. Assuming that I actually grow up, which seems to be in constant debate inside my head these days.

I would love to be the kind of wife who actually enjoys cooking. Heck, most days I'd settle just for being one who knows how to cook more than three different things.

I would really, really love to be the kind of mom who can sew things together, even if they don't rip perfectly on the seam. Maybe even one who could create fabulous clothes with nothing but a needle, some thread and cool fabric.

I think it would be beyond spectacular if I could be the kind of mom who can capture the beauty in everyday life with a simple photograph. One that doesn't have to be posed.

And I often think Wouldn't it be cool if I were a laid back, let you grow and explore on your own kind of mom?

And then it heads towards Wow, how awesome would I be if I knew as much about football as Coach does? Wouldn't that make football season more exciting?

Yeah, I admit it. I doubt myself. I doubt my level of "good-wifeness". I seriously doubt my parenting. And I doubt all of these things quite often.


I sit here, several times a week, and tell everyone how awesome I am. I brag on my kids, and even occasionally my husband. While all of this doubt goes on behind the scenes, I present this image to everyone out on the 'net that I'm some sort of awesome , fantastic, spectacular mother and wife. It occurred to me that maybe, maybe, some of you do that too.

And that? Is seriously awesome. Because it goes a long way towards easing some of that self-doubt, to think that everyone out there, everyone that I admire, is human and fallible. Just like me.

Huh. Whaddya know? I might just be grown up after all.


Karen said...

Funny. I still say I want to be like you when I grow up. It's all about the greener grass. Or something.

Karen said...

Oh, wait. That sounds weirdly like I'm honing in on your Coach. And that's not what I meant at all.

Cecily R said...

Oh, you are so nice to me! I just completely adore you, you know that?

I think anyone who says they don't do at least a little of that self boost blogging is FIBBING. We choose what we write about and what pictures we post. No one really needs to see my bathroom right now (my house seriously needs to be tented and decontaminated right now), so I keep it under wraps and post pics of my kids being cute instead of cleaning it. Self boost blogging at its finest! :)

Burgh Baby said...

I do believe that is the greatest compliment anyone has ever given to me. Thank you!

I'm with Cecily--the "unwritten" is the fact that being laid back leads to a house that is just plain trashed. And I mean TRASHED. At least I can exclude that from Alexis' journal, though!

Flea said...

Who's the mama? You the Mama!

Lots of insecurity on this end, thankyouverymuch. :)

Amy said...

The world needs people who can take in their surroundings and sprinkle it with glitter, not in an effort to hide the ugliness or paint a different picture, but because the world is best viewed through the eyes of the optimistic. You are like that and that is why I like you so much.

Rachel said...

That middle header pic is my favorite pic ever on here! I love it!!!

You are awesome. Didn't I just write this post a month or so ago? Gack.

Nice to know I'm not alone. You are your own brand of fabulosity and I hope if I ever have to grow up, (which I won't) but when my kids grow up, I hope I'm as wonderful a mom as you are.


Kristi said...

Uh...yeah...were we split at birth or something? I 100% agree with everything in this email. I am EXACTLY the same way. But shhh....it's our bloggin secret. I am awesome. Totally awesome.

Eternal Sunshine said...

Terrific post, you wouldn't be human if you didn't have those feelings.

*whispers* And I have them, too!!