Thursday, December 11, 2008

Finding My Happy

I have spent a lot of years trying to find my "happy". It's taken me that long to figure out that "happy" isn't a destination; it's a journey. And like any journey, it can suck or it can rock. My struggle, as a lot of you know, is to constantly focus on making my journey rock.

Focus is something that doesn't just happen. Focus generally needs a facilitator. Something concrete to concentrate on, not just an abstract. The entire time I've been discovering that "happy" isn't a destination, I've been searching for my focus. In the meantime, my journey was sucking; and sucking hard. Before too long, I found myself getting too caught up in the search for a focus. I was completely losing sight of what I was doing on my journey.

I was busy making sure my boys would be able to look back on their life journeys and remember that I had been there. At every game, every special event, every random moment miraculously caught and preserved.

I was busy helping with English papers, and planning birthday parties.

I was busy going back and forth between letting them make their own mistakes, and guiding my children through important life decisions, where and whenever they felt comfortable enough to open up and talk.

And that's when it hit me. That's when I realized I had found my focus; my trick for making sure my journey rocks. This whole motherhood thing, these two amazing boys that God felt could teach me something while I was here; they were my focus.

They ARE my focus. And knowing that, remembering that, makes my journey of happiness totally rock.

PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek


Kimber said...

Sounds like you're a wonderful mother. I'm one that doesn't miss out on any of my boys events either. I'm sure they'll always remember these things.

Izzy 'N Emmy said...

They will always remember their mother being there for them. Great PSF!!

Flea said...

Hooray! I can't even begin to tell you how much you and my Hunny are alike, with the perpetual search for purpose. Drives me freakin' insane, that man! Just enjoy life already! But no ... I think he discovered something very similar along the way. I commend you both!

Kidzmama said...

Always being there is important. In my case I'm trying to be the mom that my mom wasn't to me.

Along your journey don't forget to get some pictures of yourself. Your boys will need them later in life.

scrappysue said...

clarity rocks! nice post

T said...

I have a quote somewhere that expresses this very sentiment... handy enough to share? no, of course not - but it's true all the same... if we expect EVERY moment to be thrilling we're going to be disappointed - if we realize that life is just a big ride and we enjoy what we are given - we're going to be happy

I am Boymom said...

Inspirational! I've always struggled with the same thing. Only I haven't had the epiphany yet. Still trying to make sure I include myself in the journey and not just be the chauffeur. I'm getting there though and I'm so glad to have the experience of motherhood. I can't imagine my life, even on my worst days, without my boys.

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

Awesome post! Love that last photo of your focus er boys!

Shellie said...

I love those pictures especially the last one and the homework one. And I agree with the sentiment.